joanjoyce

I don’t know if somewhere between in your married life or even in just a relationship you felt no love anymore.

Is this an episode we really have to pass through or does this mean it’s over?

I am kinda loosing all the excitements I felt when we were just dating, on early months of our relationship or even after pregnancy. Maybe somewhow, getting through all the trials on our marriage, I kinda loose the trust.

I worried a lot, as in paranoid. Well he is kinda okey now, but it is really hard for me to be what I used to.

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What is your insights on giving money to parents when you are already married? I am happy that my father provides everything for us even if I am now married but my in-laws do otherwise and even made my husband pay for her little sister’s nursing tuition fee even if we do not have a regular income.

This is one thing that confuses me all the time and giving me anxieties at night. Isn’t it that the children are the parents responsibility? I raise my kid not asking my father for a tuition fee but out of our own earnings because i think thats the right thing to do it.

But when your parents are still strong and working and you know that has a lot of money, why pass the responsibility of making your daughter go to school to his brother? It’s not that I am selfish or what but we are not that rich nor stable as to we can afford to send one kid to a nursing school. We know how expensive it is, right?

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Is it right to do what only makes you happy and never consider the people around you? Doing the things I love is so easy for it will made me forget my problems but taking for granted my other responsibilities even for 5 hours would be another problem and sometimes will make me feel guilty.

I know that the time that we get married and have kid(s), us girls really dedicated ourselves on becoming a loving wife and a very caring mother that most of the time or I should say until we forget that we also have our own self to care about.

It really depresses me at night thinking how my life is when I was still single and to now that I am married. I remember the time when I want something I’ll buy it, if friends want to go malling, night out or travel expect me to be there but this time I cannot even find time to call them to check how they are. The only thing I can do is to forward them with funny and friendly text messages to make them know I still exist.

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I decided to made my index a blog because I want to rant about my life. Most of you really wants a personal touch on my slash blog because I categorized it as a personal blog but when I found my niche on doing make money online thing, you know what i mean right?, I seldom talked about myself and what I feel. So here, I made this to continue my purpose to be well again through expressing what I feel.

So last July 2007 I made a blog to help me with my sickness, it is called anxiety. Whenever my mind gets idle, so many what ifs are running around on my thoughts. Year 2005 was the worst year of my life because I had so many episodes of anxiety, actually that time it was from waking up until I fall asleep at night.

But me finding sleep is already a big struggle. I hyperventilate, I palpitate and cannot sleep while no one is awake. That struggle gave me only 3 to 4 hours a day of sleep. As soon as I found out that my palpitation is nothing physical but a psychological disability I stopped going to hospitals.

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